Be hesitant in speech

Next to my father’s clinic is a hairdressers. Being neighbours I’ve had brief and trivial but otherwise pleasant conversations more than once. However, one time whilst getting a haircut, I unknowingly invoked the rage of the owner/main-hairdresser. Unfortunately for me, I was not yet adept at sensing when someone is set in their ways and peeved her by actually listening to her points and offering my insights or viewpoints.

I tried to suggest that I had genuinely considered many of the affairs she had brought up; it was not lack of consideration, but rather my still-developing ability to synthesize that knowledge into concise statements or arguments that hindered me. Even her voluptuous and slightly chubby assistant seemed to understand what I was getting at.

子曰: 「君子欲訥於言，而敏以行」

Quite ironic, considering my hesitance to impose my views on others was born out of repeated realizations of how my well-intentioned but misguided mouth might have hurt people in the past, and how much damage words could do. I assume she had become used to talking to her customers non-stop as part of her trade, and either my subtle insistence of quality over quantity, or whatever it was, had incensed her.

I ruminated over this event many times, and when I returned to Taiwan the following year, I confessed that she may have some Truth in her perspective.

I was wrong.

Certainly, mindlessly enforcing your perception onto the world has some merit, but compared to the Truth, it will always be inferior; if not oppugnant.

子曰:「道聽而塗說，德之棄也」

“There are six things the Lord hates,
seven that are detestable to him:
haughty eyes,
a lying tongue,
hands that shed innocent blood,
a heart that devises wicked schemes,
feet that are quick to rush into evil,
a false witness who pours out lies
and a person who stirs up conflict in the community.”

– Proverbs 6:16-19